Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Sleep. Hallelujah!

I actually slept last night. Ok well it was a little bit yesterday evening and some more early this morning. The point is.... I slept!

We won't mention any pharmasueticals used in the aid of said sleep. (Ok, I took Tylenol PM and above the recommended dosage! Put that in your cake and bake it Tylenol PM people!)

Clearly, I need more sleep.

Nothing much happening today. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with a new internal medicine doctor. I'm going to find out if I have a hernia or not and I'm going to find out why my cough is still around, why it was 98% gone with antibiotics, and why it has come back. At least that's what I hope to find out.

What I'm not hoping to find out is that I do have a hernia and that my cough will never, ever, ever, ever go away, amen. I also hope to not find out that I'm fat. Clearly doctors know that this fact must have escaped your knowledge because, well how dare you walk into their office and be overweight?? They must tell you that you are fat. They have to. You don't know it! Or why else would you be the big tub of lard they see before them. You wouldn't. It is as simple as that. So since because I'm so oblivious to the fact that I'm obese, I'm sure that this new doctor will have pity on me and give me"The Paper". You know the one... the golden paper of knowledge. The paper that will forever and always change your life. The powerful, almighty paper of truth and enlightenment of which you have never before seen the likes of such wisdom in your life, paper. The paper that says to stay between 1000-15000 calories a day and to exercise 3-5 times a week.

Yes! I shall hold "The Paper" of all greatness in my fat, chubby little hands. Then, I will pay the doctor for helping me see the error of my gluttonous ways, go home, look over The Paper and.....

............ feel like an even big, fat, piggy, failure.


So, anyone want to go to the doc's with me??

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Let me hop on a plane, I'll go with ya :)

Anonymous said...

evil doctors. they've got to know by now that the paper is bullshit.

Ramona said...

Me! Me! I will go..Oh wait...they would have to hand me a binder full of papers, maybe I will just eat this last piece of pizza *Grins*

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I can totally relate to that..."hey, you know you're overweight right?" It makes me want to scream, "OH MY GAWD, NO! How did it happen? I didn't know." *insert mock wailing and gnashing of teeth*

Doctors are such a pain in my butt!

Anonymous said...

Ummm, yeah, that was me....dana-elayne.diaryland.com :)